Category: News

The Power of the Pause: Building Resilient Classrooms One Moment at a Time

As a 25-year veteran teacher and school administrator, I know that in today’s fast-paced classrooms, educators are constantly navigating complex emotional landscapes, both their own and those of their students. The We Are Resilient approach by Dovetail Learning offers a powerful yet simple tool to help educators respond rather than react: the “power of the pause.” This intentional moment of stillness can transform interactions, strengthen relationships, and model emotional intelligence for students and student leaders like Safe School Ambassadors, alike.

At its core, the power of the pause is about creating space between a stress event and our response. In the middle of a challenging moment like a disruptive comment, a disengaged student, or rising tension, educators are encouraged to pause briefly before reacting. This pause is not about inaction; it is about intentionality. It allows teachers to center themselves, regulate their emotions, and choose a response that aligns with their values and goals for connection.

Why does this matter? Because students are highly perceptive. They notice tone, body language, and emotional cues. When an educator reacts impulsively, perhaps with frustration or impatience, it can escalate a situation or damage trust. On the other hand, when a teacher pauses, breathes, and responds calmly, they create a sense of safety and respect. This shift not only de-escalates conflict but also reinforces a classroom culture built on mutual understanding.

The pause also serves as a powerful modeling tool. Students learn not just from what educators say, but from what they do. When teachers demonstrate how to pause and think before responding, they are teaching a critical life skill: emotional regulation. Student leaders, in particular, benefit from seeing this modeled consistently. They begin to understand that leadership is not about quick reactions, but thoughtful responses that consider the well-being of others.

Over time, this practice can ripple outward. Students who learn to pause are better equipped to handle peer conflicts, manage stress, and make thoughtful decisions. They become more empathetic, more reflective, and more resilient. In this way, the educator’s pause becomes a catalyst for a broader culture of resilience within the school community.

Implementing the power of the pause does not require a complete overhaul of teaching practices. It begins with awareness. Educators can start by noticing moments when they feel triggered or rushed and intentionally inserting a brief pause; a breath, a count to three, or a grounding thought. With practice, this becomes more natural, even in high-pressure situations.

Ultimately, this one piece of the We Are Resilient approach reminds us that small shifts can lead to meaningful change. By embracing the power of the pause, educators can foster stronger relationships, create more supportive learning environments, and equip students with skills that extend far beyond the classroom. In a world that often values speed and immediacy, the simple act of pausing may be one of the most impactful choices an educator can make.

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Emily Selim is Dovetail’s Director of Educational Partnerships, 
helping school systems support their workforce in service of student learning and engagement.

She is passionate about creating a sense of belonging and social-emotional wellbeing in schools, for both students and adults.

She has served in public education for over 25 years as a primary classroom teacher, site, district, and county office administrator, and as a charter administrator. She believes that the work of supporting school adults is the missing first step in schoolwide SEL implementation.

The Dangerous Game Hiding Behind a Water Gun

By Ernesto Olivares
Published March 27, 2026

Every spring, as high school seniors start counting down the final weeks before graduation, a game quietly spreads across campuses and social media. Students call it “Senior Assassin.”

At first glance, it seems harmless. Seniors are assigned targets and attempt to “eliminate” them using water guns or gel blasters. The game often happens after school hours, in parking lots, neighborhoods, or parks. Some students even use apps or social media to track targets and record their “eliminations.”

But law enforcement and school officials across the country are increasingly warning that the game can quickly turn dangerous.

During a recent Santa Rosa Violence Prevention Partnership Policy Team meeting, local school administrators and police officials expressed concerns about the game appearing in our region. Their warning reflects what other departments are observing nationwide.

A recent San Francisco Chronicle news report described how police in Alameda are warning parents about the trend after teens were seen carrying water guns that resemble real firearms in public places. Officers say these encounters can lead to emergency calls and dangerous misunderstandings when neighbors think they are seeing real weapons.

That risk is not theoretical.

Police in several states have reported emergency responses triggered by the game when someone called 911 about teenagers carrying “guns.” In some cases, modified water guns and gel blasters closely resemble real handguns.

Even more troubling, the game has already been linked to tragic incidents.

A 17-year-old in Texas died after falling from the back of a moving vehicle while playing the game, and two juveniles in Minnesota were killed in a car crash while participating in a similar scenario.

These are not outcomes anyone imagines when the game begins.

For teenagers, the appeal is easy to understand. It combines competition, social media bragging rights, and the thrill of sneaking up on friends. However, when the activity extends into neighborhoods, parking lots, and roadways, it creates real safety risks—not only for the students playing but also for the community.

Imagine a neighbor looking out a window and seeing someone sneaking around a car with what appears to be a handgun.

Imagine a driver distracted while chasing a target.

Imagine police responding to what they believe is a call involving an armed suspect.

In today’s environment, where communities are already on edge about violence, a split-second misunderstanding can lead to consequences no one intended.

This is why many schools and police departments are urging parents to talk with their teens now—before the game gets out of hand.

The goal is not to take away harmless fun. Teenagers deserve to celebrate the end of high school.

But they also deserve to understand how quickly something meant as a joke can spiral into something far more serious.

Sometimes the most important prevention work begins with a simple conversation at the kitchen table.

Why This Matters Today

At its core, this issue reflects a larger principle: community safety depends on awareness, communication, and shared responsibility.

When risky behaviors emerge—even ones that begin as harmless traditions—ignoring them can allow small problems to become serious ones.

If parents, schools, and community leaders talk openly about these trends early, we can prevent misunderstandings, injuries, and tragedies before they happen.

Graduation season should be a time of celebration and pride.

With a little awareness and a few thoughtful conversations, we can make sure it stays that way.

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Ernesto is a long time friend and supporter of Community Matters mission and impact and advocate for youth voice as a significant contributor to creating safe, welcoming and inclusive communities. Ernesto is a dedicated leader, consultant, and public safety expert with over 45 years of experience in community safety, law enforcement, and violence prevention. A retired police lieutenant, former mayor, and nonprofit executive, he has spent decades fostering collaboration among government agencies, law enforcement, schools, healthcare systems, and community organizations to create safer, healthier neighborhoods.

As Executive Director of the California Violence Prevention Network, Ernesto leads statewide efforts to provide training and technical assistance to cities, helping them develop and implement comprehensive violence prevention strategies. Today, Ernesto consults with cities and organizations nationwide, providing expertise in violence prevention, strategic planning, and multi-sector collaboration.

Sebastopol Living Magazine

March 2026 Issue by Catherine Hughes, photos by Sheila Johnson

Community Matters’ CEO, Erica Vogel, is featured in the March issue of Sebastopol Living. The article highlights her leadership journey and the impact of Safe School Ambassadors, which has now reached more than 2,200 schools and 180,000 students worldwide. This recognition reflects the strength of our community and the young people who lead change in their schools every day.

Sebastopol Living Magazine – March 2026

 

Youth Mental Health – How the Safe School Ambassadors® Program Makes a Difference

By Ashley Ranger
Published December 4, 2025

Youth today are experiencing constant stimulation. If they are not on their phones, they are staring at a computer screen or TV screen for most of their day. While we have seen the constant growth of technology entering our everyday lives, young people have become highly dependent on it for social connection.

The COVID-19 pandemic fostered an environment where young people only had technology to connect, even if that connection was artificial. These artificial connections between peers have only increased anxiety when it comes to person-to-person interactions. When students returned to school, they came face-to-face with tangible reality which caused them to further isolate themselves. Technology allows people to mask, even play a role, but in person there are no filters.

Coming back from years of digital isolation caused spikes in anxiety and depression amongst youth. With no filters comes insecurity, which causes the need for students to protect themselves, and sometimes protecting themselves means putting down others. According to the CDC, in 2023 40% of students reported feelings of isolation, loneliness, and sadness, 20% reported having suicidal ideation. This statistic shows how much of an impact the COVID-19 pandemic caused, and that students are still learning to heal from it. The question is, how does the Safe School Ambassadors Program work to tackle the youth mental health crisis?

The Safe School Ambassadors Program is an evidence-based program that empowers youth to create safe, inclusive, and welcoming school climates. The program teaches ‘Ambassador Actions’ that students can use to safely intervene when they witness bullying and stop it before it can turn into physical violence. One of the actions is called “Getting Help” which prepares students to notice when something is too big for them to handle (i.e. self-harm, substance abuse, etc.) and to get help by finding an adult on campus they trust. The action of “Getting Help” can greatly impact the youth experiencing a crisis because someone took the time to notice their need. As we continue to show youth how to identify when their peers need help, we can significantly address the prevalence of mental health problems faced by youth.

Today, youth need us more than they ever have before. Let’s build a student-led safety net by actively listening when youth come to us with anxieties and harmful situations. For more information about how the Safe School Ambassadors Program fits your school, reach out to Community Matters! Together we can build safer, more connected school communities.

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Ashley Ranger is a Program & Training Coordinator at Community Matters in Santa Rosa, California. She has more than seven years of experience working alongside young people and families to build safe, welcoming, and connected communities. In her current role, she develops youth programs and coordinates professional development for school staff and administrators. Ashley believes in supporting youth to lead with empathy, speak up for others,
and create positive change in their schools and neighborhoods. She brings a background in English and a trauma-informed, relationship-centered approach to her work.

 

IIRP Restorative Works! Podcast

November 6, 2025 by Claire de Mézerville López. 

Community Matters’ CEO, Erica Vogel, and several Safe School Ambassadors, including SSA alum and current Alumni Coordinator Marin Broadbent Bell, were featured on the IIRP Restorative Works! Podcast.

They shared powerful stories about their experiences and what it takes to build safer and more connected school communities.These stories show the lasting impact of Community Matters programs and our supporters, reflected in the way students continue to strengthen their lives and communities long after the program ends.

Restorative Works! Podcast – Erica Vogel
Restorative Works! Podcast – Marin Broadbent-Bell

When Bullying Happens – Build a Family Safety Plan

By Kerry Rego
Published October 2, 2025

Walking onto school campuses to talk to parents, administrators, and students always feels charged with electricity. I’m often called in after something awful has happened such as when a social media challenge gets out of hand, when students have begun bullying others online, or parents grow concerned about their children’s digital behavior. The adults that greet me are clearly worried and the kids reflect their energy – these campuses are tense.

Parents and administrators have a limited technology background and students know more than enough to be a danger to themselves and their friends. As a social media and technology educator, I learn what the problem is and develop solutions that match the needs of my audience.

The administrators and I often agree to address the audiences in two groups – parents and children. I speak to children during the day in assemblies then parents in the evening. The presentations are designed as companion pieces, giving all parties the same language in order to communicate with each other more effectively.

I encourage you to take a look at the Upcoming Workshops and Webinars offered by Community Matters or reach out to them to coordinate a program for your campus.

Every presentation I give includes a Family Safety Plan for Bullying, one geared for children and one for adults. You and your child might work through a bullying situation together but that won’t always be the case. Your child may be navigating it on their own without your knowledge. It’s a scary thought but our job is to teach them how to be safe because we won’t always be with them. They may find themselves helping a friend through a difficult situation and their action list will guide them through it.

Treat these safety lists like an emergency drill – children especially need to know the plan and they need to practice it. Print and review the plan as a family to make sure everyone knows what to do when/if an emergency happens.

The Family Safety Plans below are adapted from advice listed on the U.S. federal government website StopBullying.gov.

Family Safety Plan for Parents:

  1. Get Prepared Before Bad Things Happen
    1. Help your child identify at least two trusted adults in their life such as a parent, relative, school counselor, pastor, etc.
    2. Help your child identify their closest friends or their “crew.”
  1. Notice Behavior
    1. Monitor for changes in mood or behavior and explore what the cause(s) might be.
    2. Try to determine if these changes happen around a child’s use of their digital devices.
  1. Talk to Them
    1. Ask questions to learn what is happening, how it started, and who is involved.
  1. Create a Record
    1. Create and maintain a record of digital or physical threats and actions with dates of events and useful details.
    2. Take screenshots of harmful posts, content, and communications. Save links to any online content, if possible.
  1. Report to Authorities
    1. Report offensive content to the app or social media platforms to start the process of removal.
    2. If the behavior happens at school, report to multiple school officials in this order – teacher, school counselor, principal, and superintendent. Keep records of your communications and let each person know whom you are reporting to keep everyone accountable.
    3. Inform your state Department of Education. Schools regularly fail to protect their students in cases of bullying and the more people you inform, the more likely you are to get assistance and action. If school officials aren’t helping, see the * at the end of this list.
    4. If the behavior happens in a non-school environment, report to the responsible adult or deciding body.
    5. If a child has received physical threats, or if a potential crime or illegal behavior has occurred, report it to your local police.
  1. Block the Bully
    1. Wait several days rather than blocking right away
    2. Increase protection and privacy settings
    3. Review online friends with your child. Delete any online friends or followers that may be fake. These profiles are often where bullies are hiding.
  1. Support
    1. Sometimes public intervention is appropriate. Adults and peers can positively influence a situation where negative content is posted about a child. This can include posting positive comments about the person targeted to shift the conversation in a positive direction. It can also help to reach out to the aggressor as well as the target of the bullying to express your concern about their well-being.
    2. Provide your love and support to the child experiencing bullying. Make sure they understand that they aren’t at fault. They might need professional mental health services to counteract the damage inflicted.

*There are no current federal laws that apply to bullying but you can learn more about the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights via the U.S. Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division and options available to you and your child on StopBullying.gov.

Family Safety Plan for Kids:

  1. Tell a Safe Adult
    1. Identify at least two trusted adults in your life such as a parent, relative, school counselor, pastor, etc.
  1. Don’t Respond
    1. Engaging with the bully is adding kindling to the fire. We want to starve the fire and give the bully nothing to work with.
    2. Delete the apps off your phone or device, or block the offending website, rather than deleting the accounts. The bully can see you’ve deleted the account (kindling for the fire) but they can’t see that the app has been removed or the site blocked (lack of activity or response starves the flame).
  1. Create a Record
    1. Create and maintain a record of digital or physical threats and actions with dates of events and useful details.
    2. Take screenshots of harmful posts, content, and communications. Save links to any online content, if possible.
  1. Report to Authorities
    1. Report offensive content to the app or social media platforms to start the process of removal.
    2. If the behavior happens at school, report to school officials in this order – teacher, school counselor, and principal. Keep records of your reports.
    3. If the behavior happens in a non-school environment, tell the adult in charge. If they’re not a good option, go to your safe adults for help.
    4. If you’ve received physical threats, or if a potential crime or illegal behavior has occurred, report it to your local police.
  1. Block the Bully
    1. Wait several days rather than blocking right away
    2. Increase protection and privacy settings
    3. Delete any online friends or followers that you aren’t sure if they’re real. These profiles may be where bullies are hiding.
  1. Involve Your Crew
    1. Send up an “I Need Help” signal to your friends
    2. Talk to them about what’s going on and how you feel
    3. Get mental health support if you feel it would be helpful

 Downloads
PDF by Kerry Rego
Google Doc Kids & Parents 

 

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Kerry Rego is a social media consultant, trainer, author, and speaker. Specializing in social media marketing, Kerry is associate faculty at Santa Rosa Junior College, a subject matter expertfor California Community Colleges, and a former lecturer at Sonoma State University. She has authored four books about social media strategy and reputation management.

Teens drive conversation on bullying during anti-hate summit in Pittsburgh

September 17, 2025 by Megan Trotter, TRIB Live, Tarentum, PA

Safe School Ambassadors from Sam Rayburn High School in Pasadena, Texas, spoke on a panel about preventing violence and hate during the final day of the 2025 Eradicate Hate Global Summit in Pittsburgh, PA.

Read the article

Uplifting Student Voice and Leadership With an “Inside Out” Approach

Restorative Works Magazine, 2023 Year in Review, page 15

An overview of the focus and impact of Community Matters Restorative Practices and Safe School Ambassadors Programs, from the magazine of the International Institute for Restorative Practices (IIRP).

Read the article

Hope In The Spotlight

September/October 2023, GoLocal Magazine

Community Matters CEO Erica Vogel is interviewed by Jess Taylor for Sonoma County MadeLocal Magazine.

Read the article

Transcript